The H Word

I only allow myself to say the phrase "I hate..." once a day. Preferably less than that. If I notice myself starting to say it a second time, I stop speaking and start over. You may now begin admiring me.

Have you ever noticed how often you say, "I hate," even when you aren't mad? You'd be surprised. We use it so casually, like, "I hate when that happens," and, "I hate that stupid cat!!!" OK maybe that one is full of anger.

I most commonly use the phrase while watching LOST. It usually goes, "I hate Jack...when will he ever stop crying??" or (after the very last scene of the episode), "I hate this show."

If you watched LOST, you'd understand. DON'T WATCH LOST. SAVE YOURSELF.

So here is Tuesday's "I hate."

I hate HATE HAAAATTTEEEE clipping dogs' and cats' nails.

I used hate three times, but in only one sentence. Does that still count?

The evening started off innocently enough. My mom decided Molly--our submissive cocker spaniel--needed to be shaved. So she plopped her on her lap and started the razor.She's like a miniature buddha, covered with hair.Then she cut her nails. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH it hurts me!!!!!!!!!!!Especially because I'd just vacuumed.

Molly escaped. Mom laughed evilly.Traumatized, Molly then peed on the kitchen floor (and while I too was traumatized, I did not pee on the kitchen floor, thank you). Then she went back to her bed to lick her wounds.

And it turned out she DID have wounds. We found her foot bleeding all over the place, and I almost puked. I don't have a problem with blood in general, but when it comes to clipping animal nails, I cannot handle it. UuuGGGGHHHhhhh!

Hence. I hate. I hate clipping animal claws. What does that mean? In a past life, was I murdered while clipping animal nails? Was I butchered by a recently clipped animal? Did I choke to death while trying to swallow a nail clipper? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I hate when I don't understand.

Darn it!